


To Become Perfect Again

by Itio



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Abuse, Attempted Murder, Desert Bluffs, Diego is Desert Bluffs Carlos, Doubles, If you love these characters you might cry, M/M, Mental Abuse, Physcial torture, Re-Education, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 05:32:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1767286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itio/pseuds/Itio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the head of StrexCorp shoots and kills his double, Cecil has to do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who are you?

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to read the warnings and tags before reading!  
> If you cant see the tags be warned of torture and abuse!  
> Fic is in second person.

You are Diego Valdez. You are Diego... Valdez. You are....

Watching your beloved Kevin R. Free slowly slip away from you. The only thing between you and him are some restraints and a piece of glass that worked as a two way mirror.

"Who are you?"

"Diego Valdez."

A scream from the other side of the glass as your precious boyfriend is whipped in front of you.

"Name."

"...."

Another crack of the whip and now you can see blood from an over beaten welt on his ribs.

The blond beside you tries again.

"Name."

"Diego... Valdez."

Another crack. Another scream. What was going on? How were you supposed to answer?

"Give me your name."

"Diego Valdez."

You tried to steel your nerves as a sickly squelch was heard and the screams suddenly increased.

"One rib down. Twenty three to go."

You bit your lip and tried to keep composure. You want to yell out at your beloved, but you also knew you couldn't be heard by now.

"Who are you!?"

The voice was louder. The blond with the third eye glared at him. When you glanced at his hands, you noticed bloody cuffs and purple moving on his skin.

"Who did you kill?!"

Now the voice had gotten a tinge of an emotion that was not anger. What was it? You hardly knew anymore. Too focused on watching your panting, wincing, crying radio host.

"Why are you doing this?!"

You finally denied him.

That was a bad idea.

The blond watched, didn't even flinch as you heard the crack of two more ribs echo in the chamber.

"Who did you kill?"

"Carlos Mendez."

"Who are you?"

"Diego Valdez."

Luckily, this time, you noticed the whip cracking instead of your love's ribs.

"Name."

You decided to give it a shot.

"Carlos Mendez."

Rather than a crack, you noticed that Kevin was being offered water instead.

"What is that?"

"Water."

"Tap?"

"Yes. Nothing added."

You are Carlos Mendez. You are dead. The person beside you is not your lover. The one in front of you is.

"Who do you love?"

"Kevin."

The water was ripped from shaking hands and splashed in Kevin's face.

"Who do you love?"

Think. Think. Think. What do you have to say?

"Cecil."

Kevin's face was washed off.

"Who do you love?"

"Cecil."

"Who are you?"

"Carlos Mendez."

You are Carlos Mendez. You love Cecil. The man in front of you doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't if you want him to live.


	2. Ants

You are Kevin R. Free. You are alone in a holding cell without your Diego. He denied himself. He denied you.

You won't let that bother you.

He saved you. That's right. You have been well taken care of.

Of course.

Every question you ask about him earns you another crack of the nailed whipped across your back.

Though, if you haven't talked about him in a while, you are rewarded with medications and food.

Is it selfish to not want to be hurt?

You are sure Diego can care for himself just fine!

You are sure Diego will come and save you very soon. You and him can go back home and cuddle and talk and you can be on radio again.

You miss being on radio.

"This just in listeners, there is a pile up at tile twenty seven and thirty. Some hefty rocks are keeping busy traffic backed up for several tiles."

You have nothing to report to or about except for the ants you watched marching across your cell.

You tried to step on a few, but nothing happened. They didn't scatter nor did any of them squish. They just continued their merry way.

You start to wonder about the real traffic. What is route 800 like today?

When you ask, you are told that it was none of your business.

You lost dessert because of it.

You start to sing along to the weather playing in your head. The invincible, uncaring ants deserved to listen!

That earned you a thrashing.

So, the people watching you didn't like your taste in music.

You couldn't talk anymore. It hurt and your jaw hurt.

You ask for water.

You receive nothing.

You remain silent.

You wait anxiously for Diego.

He will come. You know it.

He always comes for you.


	3. Waiting

You are Deigo Valdez; Alive, Lover of Kevin Free. No, you are Carlos Mendez; Dead, lover of Cecil Palmer. You are dead to the world and you have to act this way to keep your true love safe. Your love is not Cecil. It will never be.

You have to fake it until Cecil gives up. You have to.

You are at home. Cecil's home. A small apartment at the edge of Nightvale. This is not your lavish home in the outskirts of Desert Bluffs. You may never see that home again.

You are being watched. Funny, how you were once the one to be watching. You once watched an entire city and a half. Now that you killed your double, you are the one watched.

Cameras keep an eye on you, bound to a chair in the living room.

Cecil has quite the ability with knots. You are sure to remember that. It is tight, but doesn't restrict blood flow. The ropes wrap around each finger, up your wrists to your elbow, attaching your arms to the arms of the chair. The same is done to your legs.

How did you end up here anyway?

The pang of pain in your head suspects blunt force.

You hear footsteps and look up to see your capturer with food.

You are told to eat it.

It's not bad really and Cecil talked about how much you love to eat this. This was your, Carlos', favorite dish after all.

Fake it until you make it.

Cecil ruffles up your hair and makes sure it is a messy mop. So unprofessional.

Though, you are Carlos.

You have to be.

Someone is waiting for you.

Who?

Your train of thought is disturbed with a particularly hot bite of food.

You yelp and breathe through gritted teeth to cool your boiling tongue down.

"Odd. You always liked it hot, Carlos."

"A bit too hot today."

You have to be the late Scientist.

You are Carlos Mendez for as long as you have to be to save him.

Who is him?


	4. Tense

It's been a while.

You aren't sure how long, but it feels like forever.

You answer to Carlos more easily now.

You sleep with Cecil.

Your hair is a mess.

Nothing seems wrong with it either.

When did this start feeling right?

"Carlos! I'm home!"

You were watching television before your love came home.

"Welcome back. Great show." You called back to him.

"Thanks! Did you do anything interesting today?" He plopped on the couch beside you.

"Today felt like a lazy day really. I caught up on Breaking Bad like you wanted me to." You shrug and smile at him.

He smiled back. "That's great! What do you want for dinner?"

You vaguely remember that question being a test before.

"I'm feeling Rico's. Haven't had any this week yet." You remember all the rules and laws of this desert community very well now.

You don't remember life out of here.

Did you have life outside of Nightvale?

You were always called the pleasant outsider, so you guess so.

"Rico's sounds great. I'll order some now."

You were alone again.

Why did this still feel so wrong?

Part of this lifestyle felt wrong. You wanted to consult your love, Cecil, about it, but you didn't want to worry him. He had been tense recently.

You wonder what could have done that.


	5. Soon

It has been a while since you have seen Diego.

Why was he taking so long to come back? To save you from the pain and infection spreading through your body?

No one seemed to care that the welts had crusted over an ugly shade of yellow and your skin flushed red with fever.

They offered water every once in a while. You drank slowly because it hurt so much.

They haven't given you real food in a few days.

Why were you being punished?

What did you do to deserve this?

What did Diego do?

Diego shot Carlos. Diego had all right to!

Right...?

You are losing hope in seeing Diego. Will he come for you just in the nick of time?

You sure hope so. Nightvale was not treating you like a welcome guest...

You are silent. You have to save your energy because you have to stay awake until Diego comes back.

You have to.

You may not wake back up if you fall asleep waiting.

Soon. You tell yourself.

Soon.


	6. Making Things Right Again

You are alone in this world now.

This meager excuse for a boyfriend was a mere replacement.

It felt wrong to be with him.

It felt wrong to think he was your boyfriend.

You try to talk on the radio about how much you love when he does something cute, but you can't bring yourself to say it.

Everyone knows Carlos is dead.

That includes you.

And for a while, all of this felt right. The replacement looked like Carlos. He spoke like Carlos when he wasn't talking business. He was a double in almost every way.

Now you can see these flaws more now that your vision isn't clouded with hatred and depression and a need to fill a hole through your heart.

There was a hole in your heart.

You checked.

You tortured your own double. You brainwashed his double. For what?

A hole?

Or a sense of normality?

Payback?

You didn't know and you broke down in your sound booth at work during the weather. You played a recording after the weather ended to compose yourself.

"And now Traffic. There is a pile up on Main Street that is sure to mess with today's sche-" You paused on the air.

"I'm sorry listeners. I have to go take care of something...."

You had to make things feel right again.

No matter what it took.

You had to make your replacement the real thing.


	7. Suspitious

The secret police were suspicious of you now.

You have been mumbling on the air. You have been dull on the air. You walked out of the booth while on air. They were concerned.

You didn't care. You needed to make things right, perfect. You needed to make his replacement perfect.

He needs to have every curly hair, every finely toned muscle, every scar, every gentle feature and perfectly tan skin, every little nervous tick and lovely adoration of science.

He needs every scar.

You walked into the house, seeing his replacement jotting down in a notebook while staring at a small bottle of changing liquid in the kitchen.

At least that won't need to be fixed.

"Carlos. I'm back early."

There was a pause before getting a hello.

That voice was too deep.

Good thing scientists had routine vocal chord replacement. That could just be done early.

"Isn't it about time for your routine throat spider prevention surgery?"

"No. I don-"

"You know, it has been almost a year."

"Cecil, I-"

"Go along."

"No."

"What?"

"No."

"Carlos. You know I don't like that."

"I do not need to do routine anything."

That voice was too dark and deep. You preferred that lively tenor to this bass.

Perhaps you can fix his throat spider thing after you fix another.

You grabbed a knife.

You aimed right at where the miniature people under lane five almost killed your Carlos.

You went for it.


	8. Illusion

You heard a scream, but thought nothing of it.

It was probably your imagination anyway.

Like the ants from before.

Or Diego standing in front of your cell yesterday, smirking at you and refusing to let you out of your prison.

You were thirsty.

You had to be quiet to get water, but it was just too hard!

You were, are, a radio host! Radio hosts don't not talk on air!

Or off for that matter.

Diego loves listening to you.

These people don't.

Nightvalians are so hard to get to know... Say one word and no dessert! Weird, right?

So you didn't question the scream, even if the sweet, but weird, Nightvalians watching you were getting concerned. Maybe they imagined the same thing.

They brought you water later though, even some food! They even fed you!

Maybe they were getting more comfortable around you, the friendly stranger from the town over. That was it!

You started to feel tired as you ate though.

You didn't finish your whole plate of delicious food.


	9. Anniversary

You recover slowly.

But surely.

Cecil continues to deny that he attempted to kill you.

He always diverges to talk about science or Khoshekh or the show.

Why would he do that?

You let it go for now.

Cecil was in a good mood it seemed. He was smiling and humming.

"What's the good news?" You asked.

"It's our anniversary, my perfect boyfriend."

Oh... Was it?

"Oh, I forgot to get you someth-"

"No need to! I have a special night planned for just the two of us!"

You could tell there was something hidden in there... Lust? Anxiety? Distaste? Anger?

You were never good at reading the atmosphere.

"Go get a shower before dinner. I want you spotless!" He was cutting vegetables. Cecil's cooking was always interesting.

Nonetheless, you get your shower done pretty quickly, making sure your wound is gentle washed and patted dry. It was still a little sensitive.

You walk back into the kitchen to see the table set and food placed for the two of them. "Wow..." You whisper and sit down across from him.

The two of you eat. He talks and tells stories, you listen and nod when appropriate.

You do dishes together; he washes, you dry. The dishwasher was attacked by wheat snakes apparently.

Then to the living room and onto the couch. There was a black box on the coffee table and several blank DVD cases beside the player. "Ready?"

You nod.


	10. Chapter 10

You are Carlos Mendez.

You live in Nightvale, doing science and your boyfriend, Cecil Palmer.

You are happy.

You distaste Desert Bluffs.

You are curious of its wonders though.

It was nearly abandoned by the sane people, leaving only the crazies and the dead.

You wonder what happened.

Though, your boyfriend just says that there was an economic meltdown.

Economics does not pique your interest.

It was too much work.

You listen to the radio daily at your lab. It's been a while since you were last able to be in here. It felt nice.

You look over your notes from before. You don't remember these tests.

Then again, it’s been a while.

You skip over those and begin new tests on samples.

"Our little desert town is strong on its feet, Nightvale. Reports say that our little town's been busy with a 2% increase in sales and imports. Great job, Nightvale. We will not fall like our lost rival, Desert Bluffs."

There was spite in those words, as excited as they sounded.

Cecil is not good at hiding his personal feelings.

He is just far too emotional for his own good.

Not like you minded. It is a nice change of pace.

You wouldn't change anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for getting through this! How did you guys enjoy it?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for getting through this so far!  
> Diego is a creation of http://videntefernandez.tumblr.com/ go check her out!  
> If I left out anything in the warnings for any of these chapters, please tell me.


End file.
